.:papí_josé:.'s Blog

My Love and Dating Life
9th April 2007
By .:papí_josé:.

(Welcome to my first blog! I know that blogging is basically to express what's been thought and allow those who want to read it- well read it. This is not something I do mostly because the lack of time. However, an individual who I recently became acquainted with has indirectly inspired me to do so.)

So its 35 minutes until the end of the 2nd of three shifts at work, when I decide to read the newspaper I bought on my way to work.

In the local newspaper I bought, I read various articles including one titled "Dating 2007: All you need to know about getting back into the game." Now mind you, I don't believe I was ever out of the game, just have been heavily preoccupied with 'LIFE'.

The article was a general composition of various types of dates including but not limited to "The Back in the Saddle Date", "The Escape Plan Date" and "The Breeze-by Date." Keep in mind that the article asked if I (as the reader) could relate to any of them. Of course I related to some or even most of the types of dates. However, that's not the point. The point is that my mind went on the tangent of me thinking about my own personal lack thereof love and dating life.

I started to inquire to myself "Why am I still single?" It's been 7 months since the end of my relationship with my ex. I mean, he has already had two boyfriends after me. "Is it because I have to high standards and/or preferences or it because I don't give much effort into finding someone?" The relationship with my ex did not end because of cheating and didn't scar me in any form or fashion to peruse any future potential. "So what is my deal?!"

When guys express interest in me, most of them ask "What do you look for?" Goodness, when they pop that question its just like ERR!! I don't know about others, but I do not have a formal recipe or manual as to what I seek or want. My response is "I don't look for anything specific. I just take what comes my way. If I like it or have an interest in it, I run with it with caution. If I don't like it or have no remote interest in it, then I abandon it the maturist way possible." This is not your average mentality to the aforementioned question. The question lies is this the reason why I have such a minimal love and dating scene? When it comes down to it, its not that I am not assertive in what I want, I just like to keep an open mind. Could this state of mind scare guys off? Moreover, I had this mind set before my ex and I was able to embark on a relationship. Is this my problem- if you call it that? Hummm…

Another thing that could have some affect on the topic of this writing is the battle between idealism and being realistic. Part of me is like "Why only segregate yourself to your local area when there is so many different people around the country or better yet the world- there are so many possibilities." Then, my realistic side kicks in to say "Are you serious? Do you really expect to have a relationship with someone 700 miles away from you or at that- across the world? One would have to change his life entirely to be together (move)." Then back to the other side "It's not fair to not give those outside of your local area the opportunity to get to know you and vies-versa!" It just goes back and forth. For the most part I am realistic, but I can't be subjective and close of my mind to other possibilities. That would just take away from my objective, optimistic and open-mindedness of my frame of mind.

Perhaps I just don't make the 'effort'. Other than flirting from time to time and having, for the most part, up-to-date online profiles, I suppose I don't make much of an effort. I don't go to work or generally out in public dressed to impress. Or when out to social events, I am usually hanging out with my 'girlfriends' and straight guy friends. So, hummm… I guess I could make more of an effort- but then why? It's not like I even have time for a significant other. I would want contribute significantly to a relationship, but at the time being I don't believe I could. I work like 45-60 hours a week and plus starting college back up outside of that.

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